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Tlaloc
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Post by Tlaloc on Aug 31, 2013 1:56:39 GMT -8
I'm moving to Queensland (from Victoria) in a few months, and overall I'm really looking forward to the move. Not only because I have more family connections to draw from there, but it's very much a nice and new clean-slate for me where I can finally start in getting some things done. The past few years I've been living as a near recluse, so it's a major priority for me to make a point in meeting new people and building some solid social connections. I'm planing on doing a bachelor of science internally, so I'll have a great opportunity both there and in whatever part-time work I pick up to accomplish that goal.
The question I'm beginning to ask myself however is whether or not it would be worthwhile to open myself to the possibility of an actual relationship once I get things rolling. I am not the kind of person who pursues a relationship simply for the sake of having a relationship, but unlike when I finished highschool, the total rejection of the idea I think was a little short-sighted. It's not a priority, but I nonetheless find myself contemplating the potential pros and cons of a girlfriend. I see a few each way.
To those who are/were in a relationship; do you think it is/was an overall net gain to your life? Or is/was it more trouble and drama than it is/was worth?
Discuss.
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Snuffkin Guest
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Post by Snuffkin on Aug 31, 2013 13:50:36 GMT -8
I plan on traveling to a few different states once I either drop out and finish a few college classes after or just get my diploma. For the most part I'll just hang out and drink with people and drift in between those I know would be up for hanging out, but i know at least one or two people who'd be up for crewing, and one where it's kind of a tactical priority to do so in the short term if possible (long story). That same person I may end up room-mates with, because if I'm going to be honest with she's probably the sole person that, assuming we're capable of getting along that well in person, I could imagine tolerating living around.
I personally wouldn't deal terribly well with not even trying to find a person. I tend to be kind of codependent and all partly thanks to my upbringing, and one of the only things to ever really lend contentment is the thought that perhaps sometime in the near future I'll have actually found someone I can relate to that won't (I'm sure hilariously for others) screw me over, or that I already have. The person I'm currently referring to I'm going to get drunk with and cuddle with/very possibly have sex with regardless of anything, and again regardless of whatever happens following that we'll be friends for as long as I can imagine and likewise for her, simply because we actually get along, unlike a lot of those I've had feelings for.
Whether or not you should feel you ought to try and find someone is dependent entirely upon how important having someone is for you in your life. It sounds like it probably isn't, but if you're actually thinking about the pros and cons of having a girlfriend that often maybe it is; only recently did I even consider the possibility in any near future situation, my first experience with it wasn't great. In general though I feel that if I were to actually find someone I like to that extent I probably still wouldn't care that much about the possibility of sex beyond possibly making them happy, so that's probably also a different kind of factor for you.
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krystalmeth
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Post by krystalmeth on Aug 31, 2013 21:26:26 GMT -8
Relationships are worth the bullshit because you learn more about yourself after they end miserably.
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Tlaloc
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Post by Tlaloc on Aug 31, 2013 22:10:43 GMT -8
Relationships are worth the bullshit because you learn more about yourself after they end miserably. Hopefully if any relationship I get into becomes untenable, it would end cordially by consensus and a continued positive mutual opinion would be maintained between both parties.
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Snuff Guest
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Post by Snuff on Sept 1, 2013 16:11:08 GMT -8
Relationships are worth the bullshit because you learn more about yourself after they end miserably. Hopefully if any relationship I get into becomes untenable, it would end cordially by consensus and a continued positive mutual opinion would be maintained between both parties. I've had that happen, and to tell the truth the expectation of sending birthday presents and so forth to a girl you no longer have no emotional reason to please is just annoying. I would have rather felt like shit for a few weeks, which is the most that would've happened.
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Tlaloc
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Post by Tlaloc on Sept 1, 2013 20:17:05 GMT -8
Why would you be sending gifts to each other? Beyond immediate family, girlfriends and perhaps at times very close friends, I don't believe in gift giving simply for the sake of social convention. If you're over fifteen and still expect birthday and Christmas gifts as a matter of course, then you need to grow the hell up.
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Snuffkin
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Post by Snuffkin on Sept 2, 2013 17:51:51 GMT -8
Because it's easier. Same reason I tell family I love them really.
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Snuffkin
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Post by Snuffkin on Sept 10, 2013 18:05:11 GMT -8
Wow, way to sound not edgy, me.
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Tlaloc
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Post by Tlaloc on Sept 14, 2013 13:57:21 GMT -8
But I said I understood giving gifts to people of high emotional value. What I think is silly is giving gifts to people you're merely cordial with just because it's form.
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Poodie Guest
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Post by Poodie on Jan 31, 2014 7:36:42 GMT -8
I am currently in a relationship since 7 months and I'd say it was a net gain in my life. We can talk about everything, have lots of fun together and the regular sex is also a plus.
I think it depends on ones personality whether a relationship is the right thing for you.
However, the way you approach this issue here theoretically, seems a bit strange for my taste. No offense, but I have heard similiar stuff before as in "in the past I was not willing to find a girlfriend" and "a girlfriend is not a priority" and I'm not buying it totally and in my experience this is usually the shit you hear from others that are too afraid to admit to themselves or others that they were simply not able to get a girlfriend, be it because of shyness, lack of self-esteem or social akwardness... It is often a cop-out for social incompetence in that regard... To be honest, I also often caught myself deluding myself into thinking the same way during some stages of my life, because the awful truth was too hard to handle: namely you suck.
Am I on to something here? Common you cannot seriously tell me that you never ever were drawn to a girl that was physcially and personalitywise very appealing to you or that you never ever envied happy couples that you saw somewhere a little... Perhaps you are really such a dude who prefferred to be alone, but the mere fact that you mentioned "new clear-state" is an indication that I am onto something here. I mean what really hindered you from enrolling on some dating site, asking girls out or going out in general to approach girls?
Maybe I'm just projecting bullshit, but I have seen this rhetoric before said by similiar people like you and I knew they were talking bullshit... If I am talking nonesense, please enlighten me, but I guess there is some truth to what I am saying here.
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Tlaloc
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Post by Tlaloc on Feb 21, 2014 1:00:41 GMT -8
There's truth to that, although I'm not in as much denial about it as you would think. It's just that right now I'm in a slightly awkward position in regards of where I'm going to be until I'm in Brisbane. (the move, whilst certain, is a little further away than I initially believed at the time I created this thread) But in any case, with so much going on right now, it's turning out to be a very interesting year for me. Almost anything is possible at this point. Hell, a few months ago, I would never have thought that I'd end up going drinking with Ardat and his friends. (but hey, it happened) And my conscious decision to be more open to letting things happen, almost nothing will surprise me this year. So we'll just have to see.
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